Sunday, October 21, 2007

Silent

I know I've been silent for some time now. It's been about a year since my first blog post. A year ago I couldn't have imagined myself as happy and content as I am now. Life is really good. I am stable, alive and really just overwhelmingly content.

A whole lot has happened in the last year and not all of which is posted, but I will say that I have really grown into myself finally. In the process of coming to grips with my homosexuality I really lost focus of anything else. I lost my goals, aspirations, beliefs, and even my personality. I've spent the majority of the last several months regaining them. I made choices that hurt other people and myself. I will always be sorry for hurting my friends. All I can say is that I was not myself and I am so sorry. I really feel stable now. As I move on with my life I can look back at the mess of the last year and say "What a relief!" I am finally living.

I don't know that I ever posted this because I was so ashamed of myself, but I withdrew from school last fall mid semester because I was emotionally exhausted. I am finally ready to complete my education I think. There are a couple schools on the East Coast where I am really considering finishing my education. Leaving school was so traumatic for me that I am a little nervous about re-enrolling in school but I gotta do it.

Sometimes I wonder if I am done with my blog. Kind of like a "no news is good news" policy exists with my blog. My blog has been such a wonderful outlet for me for so long. I will forever be grateful for the people who have read and participated in my blog and those that have ventured further and participated in lasting friendships.

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